Being my own Beloved

What is my belief about love? ” Love is when you want other’s happiness as your own” – I used to believe this to be true about love. As I dwell over this thought to get  to the core of my belief system, I realize that every time I think of love it’s always about the “other”.

We as kids, are raised to believe that “love” is only true when the “other” is present. I assume many of us believe that the only way we can express love  is through someone other than ourselves. This means  “love” only exists or has value if there is a significant “other”.  Would that mean if there is no significant “other”,  I am devoid of love? Should Valentines day be the reminder of a loveless life in the absence of a significant “other”? I guess not because love is  what we are all made of – the source of love is within us.

If I believe that this beautiful feeling of “love” is mine, and that “I”, myself of all people deserve my love as much as the ones I love, this world around me will become a fuzzy -mushy place to live in.


When we understand that the source of love and happiness is within us and start loving ourselves, we then stop looking out for the “other half”.  Being in a relationship is then not about trying to fill any void but about sharing the love we already experience within ourselves. That for me is a complete union of two souls, heaven of two independent beings, who are so comfortable in their own skin. We will heal ourselves and also heal each other.

It is time to question our inner dialogue about love. Thus, this  Valentines – Love yourself and gift yourself the love which completes YOU.

There is a beautiful adage “I will take care of me for you and you will take care of you for me”.  So do remember, to say “I love me” on Valentines Day while you say “I love you”.


About the Author:
Avni Gandhi Varma: is a Grooming and Etiquette consultant for various Beauty Pageants, Individuals and corporates. She is also a certified Clinical hypnotherapist and runs her own practice in Mumbai under the banner: transformwithavni.

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